If you think that you've come here for laughs,
Better pick up your coats, hats and scarves,
Because, truth to tell,
I'm as boring as hell ~
And, when boring, I don't bore by halves.
My performance is dry, dull, and iffy,
And I'll have you glazed-eyed in a jiffy:
Your only defence,
If you have any sense,
Is to knock back the wine and get squiffy.
No, I don't cause uproarious applause,
Or outpourings of adoring 'encore!'s:
The only effusion
There'll be in conclusion
Is an inglorious, ignoramus chorus of snores.
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