Insults

Here is a list of insults to keep you occupied and feel free to add some of your own:

1. I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.
2. I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?
3. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
4. I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
5. You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.
6. All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.
7. I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.
8. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
9. I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
10. When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
11. We all spring from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.
12. You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
13. You started at the bottom -- and it's been downhill ever since.
14. You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.
15. You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime.
16. I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
17. They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
18. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
19. I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
20. The three words that describe you are as follows, and I quote: 'Stink, Stank, Stunk!
21. Do you still love nature..... despite what it did to you?
22. I wouldn't piss on you, even if you were on fire.
23. You are Michael Jackson gone wrong.
24. Did you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.
25. This is no battle of wits between you and me. I never pick on an unarmed man.
26. You are not even beneath my contempt.
27. I am the guy that does his job. You must be the other guy.
28. To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
29. Wit is a gentleman's weapon. I wouldn't trust you with any such "sharp objects" just yet.
30. I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
31. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
32. Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
33. I’m glad to see you’re not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
34. What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
35. There's no beginning to your talents.
36. The more i think of you the less i think of you.
37. You have a room temperature IQ.
38. Don't worry, you aren't adopted, no one in their right mind would willingly take you.
39. Everyone has the right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege!
40. You are proof that there is no vaccine for stupidity.